Today, when I was bringing KidWonder home from “school” and, instead of asking what he wanted for his snack, I started making suggestions. I found the words “ice cream” coming our of my mouth. In my defense (not that I need one), it’s 85 degrees here and we’re in desperate need of cool down. I saved myself by saying we had some at home thinking that he would settle for a popsicle. This did not go over well. Then I remembered the Cool Whip in the freezer. I’m not sure if this has been done before, but since I’ve never done it before I was pretty proud of myself. KidWonder was none the wiser and I had avoided a meltdown. So here he is with his Oreo Cool Whip Crumble. Looks tasty!

I understand that you are out there doing tis alone. I understand that your situation is a lot harder mine. To those women who weren’t left with any other choice, I respect you for wamaning up and doing what you have/had to do for your child. To those single ladies who chose to keep the dad out of the picture from jump, get out of my face with your simpering be ause you chose your position. To the mixed bag of divorcee single moms, it’ll get better and I’m rooting for you. To the older single moms who are done raising kids, I may ask How you did it with you kids BUT…

I did not ask for your advice or invite you to my conversation. I understand that you’ve done this all before and you did it without a man by your side, but that is not my lot in life. Don’t tell me that my husband’s input shouldn’t matter. Raising a child is a partnership when there are two of you running a houshold. If you were single from the beginning then you just don’t get it. If you chose to be single then it’s not yours to get. If you’re divorced then you know what it’s like but it still doesn’t give you the right to force your bitterness, self-doubt, and fears onto me and mine. I am in a parental partnership. There is no executive board when it comes to my child’s potty training, discipline, or diet.

If he identifies more with his white ancestry, should I breathe a sigh of relief? If he identifies with his black ancestry, should I wait with bated breath? Wouldn’t either choice mean that I am only perpetuating the race cycle? The reason I am having this issue in the first place is because my mother perpetuated the cycle and I have the image of black men being judged by their skin color/tone and not character.

Like the title of the post says, I wonder–and it’s rare–if my son will have some color or race confusion. But I wonder if I will question which race he identifies with, and that is my true worry. I don’t want to think of my son as black or white. He’s my son and all the should matter is that he came from me and I will protect, teach, and support him. I will.

This snippet from the momlogic article is what I fear for any child of color:

My son has been reading since he was 4 years old. He was the only reader in his pre-K class, and every day throughout the school year his teacher would tell all the parents hanging around for pickup how he reads stories to the other children, helps them tie their shoes (because they don’t know how), and spells like a champ. He is also the only African-American in the class. At the end of the school year, a bunch of moms and dads from the class got together, and their whole conversation about my son was about how fast he runs, how he wins all the races at parties, and how he has a very muscular tone for a 5-year-old. These things are true. But not one person talked about how smart he is. Even though that was the messaging they received about my son nearly every day. Not one parent.

After all that, it’s no wonder that today, when the rash has finally subsided, that when he’d had his fill of milk he simply put his bottle to the side and put himself to sleep. Poor guy has had a long week and I am so glad to see him sleep so peacefully. Maybe I should take this chance to do the same thing.

So with KW being medicated about 5 times a day we thought, “Why not send me in for 9 shots of local anesthetic, three tooth extractions, and surgical removal of an empacted wisdom tooth followed by a haze of pain accompanied with percoset and amoxicillin?” Why indeed. It’s all because, and  I can’t believe I’m admitting this, I’m getting braces. Am I crazy for getting braces 8 months before the wedding? YES! Am I going to do it anyway? YES! It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time a my orthodontist (Peter Maro, formerly of the New York Rangers)  promises that my smile will vastly improve by April. So on Tuesday I am off to have spacers put in even thought the pain of the surgery hasn’t completely subsided (Yay!). wish me luck.

Maddy/Tiana

Disney’s new black princess: So Disney has gone back to 2-D, hand drawn annimation and decided that (after dacades) they would try their hand at a black American princess. “Maddy” would be the princess in The Frog Princess. They thought that it would be okay to make her somewhat like the other princesses. She would be a servant, not to a family member, but to an upity, spoiled white woman. She would have her prince/hero, but he wouldn’t be a black American prince/hero. He would be white.  A few people didn’t like that so much. I can see why. Maddy (though my grandmother was Mattie) can be perceived as demeaning by some of today’s society. It’s like calling her Mammie. Also, having a white woman as a servant turn princess is a fairy tale. Having a black woman as a servant turn princess is a fairy tale that hits a bit too close to home. And is Disney so unwilling to step outside of their comfort zone that they couldn’t have a full black animated cast. The voices don’t have to be of black people, but if Aladdin can be full Arabian and Mulan full Asian, why can’t this princess be surrounded by people of her own race? They’ve tried to redeem themselves by making her a heroine named Tiana. I still don’t know that many black girls named Tiana. I know more named Britney and Ashley than I do Tiana. Like one of the articles says, you can’t satisfy everyone.

So here I go.

KidWonder (a.k.a. Beany) has been quite the little rascal these days. He’s getting into everything and moving so fast tht I can’t turn my back on him. He could end up anywhere. But he is still the cutest little rascal ever. Today, he and  DadWonder were playing under his favorite blanket (what use to be my favorite) and I pretended I couldn’t find him. I could see his little head turn toward my voice under the blanket and then he threw his arm up to reveal himself and a huge smile, as if to say, “Here I am, Mommy. See.” That made my day.

I’ve also been watching music videos on launch.yahoo.com and both Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson have made their “comebacks.” Is is just me, or did they both look better when I was younger? I remember wanting to be these two women when I was a girl. I even remember a white satin jacket I had to take pictures in at the age of 4 and saying to only to myself that “I look just like Janet.” Well I don’t think that now. I do think I looked more like Rudy Huxtable. But that’s neither her nor there. Why is it that these so called iconic role models are changing their appearance so drastically? I thought the women I grew up viewing as beautiful would age gracefully while still making great music. No. They’ve altered their apearance, are dating/married to younger men, and there sound is vastly different. I understand that as you get older your sound will change, but Mariah use to sing and now all she does is break glass. Anyway…I’m disappointed.

On the work front…I’ve been going thru resumes and I’m not getting. When did it become okay to pass along your resume or CV without a cover letter? “My resume, if you’re interested” is not the way to introduce yourself. And how hard is it to spell check. You’re sending me a resume in Microsoft Word which I know come with a spell checker. Double check everything you send out for your career.

Ranting done. Time for Battlestar Galactica.

He’s growing up so fast and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I know it’s a short clip but more to come.

P.S. Sorry I haven’t written in a (long) while.

I always knew there was something behind all that cuteness.

Blogged with Flock

So this year has been filled with so much that I don’t know where to begin. I guess I should start at the beginning.

Well I started out pregnant with Beany while Dad prepared for his arrival.

Then it was off to Italy for our Babymoon. Traveling between cities by train, we visited Rome, Venice, Florence, and Sienna. And Dad tried some of the local cuisine.

Then Beany was born. We loved having him home that we never wanted to put him down. Nor did his grandparents.

Soon, Beany had his own friends and was having a barrel of laughs.

In September we had a party where Beany got to meet some of his cousins. They wanted to play with him at any cost.

After the party, Mom and Dad got to go to the U.S. Open.

We got a new house and moved in.

Things slowed down a bit while Beany learned to sit unassisted.

But after he learned there was nothing he couldn’t conquer, there was no stopping him.

Beany had his first trip (he was an angel on the plane both ways), where he met some Mom’s family for the first time and saw Dad’s sister for the first time since his party.

Then we hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas. David saw a lot of family and got a lot of presents.

All in all, it was a great year.

As always, our Saturdays are very relaxed. I woke up to feed Beany and worked a little on Netscape, posting stories and killing spam. All at my own pace while watching Beany sleep in his new bassinet/play yard. We took some pictures of Beany once Daddy woke to play with him. Hence the gorgeousness above. (Find more to the right on my flickr album.) Then Beany and I took a nap while Daddy updated our blogs. And, now, here we are enjoying the day with a little Dr. Who and Psych. Oh, how I love Saturdays.

Powered by ScribeFire.

He is clocked in and ready to go. I am not trying to make it look like “he is a big help to me.” What I am saying is that is half of everything that goes on around here. He is not my parenting assistant. He is not my household vice president. Sure, we each have our spheres of influence, but those are defined by our capabilities, skills and interests, not antiquated gender roles.